Tuesday, February 9, 2010

When Life Gives You Scraps...

I have an embroidery pattern for a sampler that says "When Life Gives You Scraps, Make Quilts!" At first glance it seems to be the perfect gift for all those quilters in your life--and it is. I stitched it out, framed it, and gave it to one of my quilting co-workers for Christmas a few years back. She loved it!

Lately though, it's taken on a whole new meaning since my husband thinks he wants a divorce. From the inside looking out, it seems as if my life is in shreds. In other words, nothing but scraps remaining from what I thought was a loving marriage being stressed by far more than our fair share of challenges and tribulations. I've blogged about this things before--a lawsuit lasting more than 10 years, trustees taking advantage, unethical attorneys, and a greedy ex-wife and daughter, being aided and abetted by her unscrupulous brother-in-law attorney, a supervisor who is a bully, and so on. But throughout it all I believed we'd overcome it all and eventually things would get better. But that's not what happened. When things were finally over; when things should have finally gotten better, the bottom fell out.

So I have scraps. Lots and lots of scraps. Although all the paperwork has been filed with the court, it's not a done deal. And I'm not a quitter. I may lose, but it won't be without a fight. It'll be hard work and I know it. But anything in life that is worthwhile takes effort and work. Afterall, you can't spend more time taking care of your lawn than you do your marriage and expect it to thrive.

About two weeks ago when I was really feeling kicked in the gut I decided it was time to start acting on that little saying. It was time to start making a quilt. So that's what I've been doing whenever the still-love-of-my-life isn't home and I have time to fill without him. I've been quilting. Oh, it's not a great quilt mind you. The stitching to piece it together is perfect, it's the quilting itself that isn't too hot. It's hard to do a good job though when you're preoccupied, your mind is elsewhere, your heart is breaking, and you're constantly fighting back tears.

I machine quilted it because I needed to finish it. My soul needed to accomplish something positive. But my "stitch in the ditch" quilting didn't necessarily stay in the "ditch." I could, and I should, have taken the stitching out and redone it. I did for the really bad sections. But then I decided, no I'm not. I'm leaving it alone. This quilt is going to be a reminder of this period of time--the good and the bad; making the best of a bad situation. In other words--making a quilt out of my scraps.

It's finished, and it's beautiful, it really is. Just as long as you don't look too closely at the stitching that is quilting all these pieces together. But you know, I'm okay with that. I've taken my scraps and I'm making quilts!

Maybe I'll even embroider that sampler a again--this time for me.

And guess what? I even had enough "scraps" left to make a tote bag! Quilted, of course.